Hi Everyone,
This isn’t an easy post for me to write, but I have been doing some serious thinking, and some intense work with my doctors and have decided that I need to step away from my blog…indefinitely.
I have been learning the hard way here at HU that I still care for others more than I care for myself. I can’t even say that caring is my second nature…it’s my first! Caring is a trait I will always have running through my veins, but focus on helping others is impacting the time I should be focusing on myself. I’m so use to helping and I enjoy it, so this won’t be a snap of my fingers easy thing to do. But it’s so unbelievably necessary. I hope you know how much I love you ALL! I hope that through my words you can feel how much I grew to trust you all. I shared some of my deepest darkest secrets with you, and you allowed me to open up when I had been silent for all my life. I will always be grateful for that! Thank you for every email and message telling me how my journey has helped yours. That will be something I will never forget and I will always be honoured in the trust you placed in me.
Take this time to take care of YOU as well. Get selfish and strong. We deserve it SO MUCH! I will still be journalling on my own so I won’t loose my writing therapy, but for now it’s just for my eyes to see.
Of all the words I’ve written to date, if there were two I could leave off with to show you how I feel in my heart and soul, they are simply and complexly……………………………..thank you!
~Nat xo
Paramedic Nat 
December 23, 2014 at 3:11 PM
How lucky are you to have had something so good that makes saying goodbye so hard? 🙂
It’s not goodbye … goodbye is forever. It’s bye for now. You go do the work you _need_ to do … for _you_!
Come back when you’re ready … you know where to find us. You’re awesome Nat. Thanks so very much for sharing! Somewhere, at some time, we’ll meet again!
As always … gentle on that soul and spirit 😉
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December 23, 2014 at 3:16 PM
You do what you need to do for yourself !!!
Love you Natalie !!!!
Keep in touch ….
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December 23, 2014 at 3:59 PM
Wishing you only the best.
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December 23, 2014 at 4:02 PM
Your blog has been a huge source of help to me to feel less alone and I thank you for that. The strength that you possess to put yourself out there for everyone to read is truly amazing to me. It is something i’m not comfortable doing myself. Do what you need to do for yourself. Your no good to anybody if your not right with yourself. Best of luck to you Natalie and Happy Holidays. I hope to one day be reading your blog again in the future. Big hugs to you.
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December 23, 2014 at 4:22 PM
Wishing the best for you…praying for you!
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December 23, 2014 at 4:35 PM
Nat,
Since the day I met you as a wise teacher in college to this day years later, I can still say you impress me with your knowledge and guidance. Through life and recovery I’ll be praying for you!
Thank YOU!
-Shimoda
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December 23, 2014 at 5:52 PM
I’ve enjoyed getting to know ‘spunky’ Nat through your blog. Go forward on your recovery journey knowing that there are so many people cheering for you every step of the way. We know how awesome you are, it’s time for you to know it too!
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December 23, 2014 at 7:12 PM
I knew one day these words would come “……..focus on helping others is impacting the time I should be focusing on myself” but I actually understand clearly that it is time for you to go. I have another friend who suffers also from ptsd and she as well, is a healer.
But you can’t heal if you spend your time looking outward healing others when you need to heal you …..first.
I wish you much peace and tranquility in your journey, Natalie. I hope clarity finds you
xoxo
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December 23, 2014 at 9:57 PM
Take care of your self, friend. You have a lot of love to give.
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