Busy and bored – I’m both. It’s possible. Weird right? Even though I am not on the road as a medic anymore (sigh) I am a busy bee. Family, fur babies, podcasts, new book, new speaking engagements, and lots of emails to reply to, keep my busy every day – and I’m grateful that I am able to do all of these things – but I’m bored. I’m on a new medication and I think it is giving me a lot of extra energy (Abilify for those who are wondering). I wake up super early and can’t get back to sleep which is weird for me as the old super depressed Nat only slept!
So with that being said I want to share a few amazing words of inspiration some friends have given me over the last day or too to help easy my mind with it’s new found energy and boredom.
From Christine Newman: “Here’s what I can tell you for sure Sis… things will seesaw for a while until you eventually find your happy medium. Some days you will be in the groove and rocking your socks off. Other days, the needle skips on the record and everything sounds like shit. And at least Lollers didn’t barf IN your shoes”. Brilliant! She also told me that because I have been through so much this year, that it will take some time to find a happy medium.
From Caroline Richards: “Well, I guess this is just where I’m at, I really need to just accept this”. Beautiful and true! When Caroline said this to me, I felt like she was speaking to my soul. I have to accept where I am – it really makes things a lot easier.
From @365daysofbipol2: “When you feel like you are moving forward and seem like you’re going nowhere you are on a plateau. Learn to enjoy the view”. Simple and profound all in one.
From Dr. Debra Lindh: ” Some days are harder than others. Remember: We grow when we’re stretched not when we are comfortable”. Isn’t that the truth – thank you for reminding me.
I hope that if you are feeling the way I am that these messages help you as much as they have helped me. XO Time for some Pearl Jam and Linkin Park.
Paramedic Nat 
August 15, 2017 at 10:56 PM
I love how honest you are!
I wrote a long reply but decided to delete it. ☹️
Sometimes I have to remind myself that you aren’t a counsellor.
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August 15, 2017 at 11:16 PM
Always here to help with the experiences I have xo
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August 15, 2017 at 11:15 PM
I forgot to mention…
New book?
I can’t wait to read it
I’m sure it will be as ” soul reaching as your first book!
I laughed as much as I cried when I read your book!
It’s one of my favourite books
Next to Thich Nhat Hanh called ” True Love”
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August 15, 2017 at 11:17 PM
I will need to read that! And thank you so much xo There are a few books in the works. 🙂
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August 16, 2017 at 1:36 AM
Nat,
I know Abilify well! You can expect to wake up early alright!
Get up early and jersey the day. You’ll absolutely blast each day, you’re Nat Harris remenber.
Christine’s advice is best, but pls don’t limit yourself or overstretch yourself . Contradictory?! Possibly, but I think you know yourself best. I mean you’re going to be a big author and do the circuits talking, but what about the next brave full time career. There’s something with your name all over it. I’ll rack my brains, you’re perfect for a host ok careers, but 1 in particular with a slight adrenaline rush. Think Aidan, think
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August 16, 2017 at 10:01 PM
I love you Aidan! Thank you!
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August 16, 2017 at 11:48 AM
OH My gosh, I never have seen that you have replied to my comments.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so grateful.
I have PTSD and depression. I went to groups for years. SACC, Hiatus house, so many counsellors, trauma doctors as far as Hamilton. ….on and on and on…. I have asked over five doctors for a referral to Homewood.
Starting approx. 15 years ago. NOT one doctor put a referral in for me.
I was ignored. Which has been all too familiar with my care.
Finally went to a shrink at the age of 55. I asked him as well.
Unfortunately, after a series of attempts of trying numerous medications for which I had SEVERE ALLERGIC reactions to all of them. Blisters on my face, A burn on my face that looked like I had third degree burns, throat closing, rashes and hives all over my body….He realized I am unable to take any medication other than sleeping pills. Which thankfully I don’t have any allergic reactions to yet. So I am “on my own” with no life preserver.
I have read so many books ex. “wherever you go there you are by Dr. John Kabbit Zinn” who happens to be the guru on Practicing Mindfulness.
So I have the tools……but somedays, I just cannot open that tool box up and grab a coping strategy when those “Psunami’s hit” that is what I call Triggers.
EX. Just looking at a binder in the dollar store. The domino’s effect takes over…… Seeing the binder, my mind goes to the documents from court which than leads my mind to my x, which leads to my daughters assault.
That is a prime example of my triggers.
Another ex. “Doors” I need not explain that one…..I”ll be up all night.
My mother once said to me when she was alive years ago ” I wish you felt indifferent” I was young back then and asked what does indifferent mean. She said and I quote
” it means that you don’t care either way”
I got thinking at bed time last night…..isn’t “acceptance the same as being indifferent?
It no longer controls your life? I’ve read so many books I can’t count.
But your book, was “so TRUTHFUL” so so real ……I am lost for words.
It doesn’t have FLUFF…..its raw. Everyone should read it.
Because it gets to the core of everyone who suffers….and everyone in this world is suffering from something!!!!!.
I need to read your book again and laugh but I left it at my shrinks office the other day and said “you might want to recommend this book to your patients. It might save a lot of lives!!!
OH and about ” Walter”….. I fell in love with him.
Physical pain has washed away my tool box.
(I have a partially collapsed lung right now, oh a bleed behind my left eye”) I could go on and on and on and on but who really cares….I don’t.
The only thing I want in my life now….Is to keep my pain managed
I push myself every day. (I say why bother) By the time I got home Yesterday the pain was over the top
Signed “Downer Debbie” from SNL( years ago)
and really who wants to listen to that!!!!
I have no support……
Your posts HELP!!!! So I guess the last statement is not the truth.
I can’t wait to read what you write next. It is always thought provoking.
You are doing in Ontario what Prince William, Kate and Harry are doing in England. Taking the stigma attached to mental illness.
May the Universe respond to your “good work” with a pouring of blessings!
Sorry for the long rant!
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