On this episode of BrainStorm: I talk about my experience with post traumatic growth and how it’s possible.
Books
Daily Lessons from Save My Life School: Here
Save My Life School: Here
BrainStorm by Natalie Harris is proudly produced by PodcastWagon.com
UpTalk Podcast
Paramedic Nat 
November 16, 2017 at 8:03 AM
The Universe certainly works in mysterious ways.
Instead of starting my morning spiritual readings I looked at my iPhone and saw that you had a pod cast this morning.
Natalie, I absolutely love what you talk about and so here is my response.
After my daughters brutal assault
And dealing with victims witness , courts, lawyers etc
( this is 22 years ago, but it feels like yesterday)
People please don’t judge me
I came to a place a couple of years ago after looking in the mirror for so long and saying
” it’s amazing how an event in your life can strip a deeply spiritual women” of who she once was.
The thoughts I would think
I would beg God to forgive me
This vicious cycle of tortuting myself mentally for thinking such horrible things because of what my daughter had lived.
I became unrecognizable to myself.
I am reader of Buddhism, Christian belief etc etc etc
I prayed and begged God to heal me.
Counsellors would say when you forgive them you will heal…. That didn’t work for me because it still felt like I would be condoning what they had done.
Finally I found something that worked for me.
I looked at the cross and I said
Jesus I want you to win more souls than the devil.
I always want for people to come to you.
So I said ” I don’t want the devil to win their souls …. I want you to win!
And that was how it happened.
It gave me back a huge piece of my faith and also peace.
I didn’t feel like I had become this monster. I would say Lord how could a Christ loving women be so full of rage and think such thoughts.
Oh ya and I was furious with God too!
A priest listened so gently one day to me as tears streamed down his face and he said
” my child, no one could be so angry with God if they didnt already have a very close and deep loving relationship with him.
He unederstands your feelings
He forgives you for feeling that way!
So it’s been a couple of years.
Of course I get triggered and then that is when I have to ground myself and practice mindfulness thanks to Dr john Kabbit Zinns book
Whoever ever you go there you are!
That book is life changing!
Also, I am kinder to myself.
I don’t beat myself up so much
And when I do
I say…. That’s an old habit
Today is a new day
With new thoughts and
I always run to my door off of my balcony and the first thing I do
Is ” give thanks”
For friends, doctors that care and show by their actions
I give thanks for the water while I’m showering
On and on and on
And on those days where I can’t implement those tools in my life
I forgive myself and say tomorrow
I’ll try harder
Not every day is sunny
We need the storms to grow
In ending
Thank you
You are a blessing
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November 16, 2017 at 9:15 AM
Thank you for sharing this Patti xox sending you so much love.
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November 17, 2017 at 4:29 PM
Oh Natalie
Thank you so very much for your kind response!
It means so much to me coming from you!
You Would understand exactly how I feel.
You have a glimpse inside my soul….. That most do not because you have the knowledge and the depths of how PTSD can transform any of us at any time.
It’s life altering!
And everyday can be a masterpiece
If we ” have mastered our peace that day”
Thank you
You are a gift!
Sending you so much love in return 💞🙏
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