Sometimes it seems like I battle the odds after odds after odds. Pushing against an immovable wall trying to see light but somehow I can’t push past the darkness. Frozen in a time that contains only a glimmer of hope that I hold so tightly I start to suffocate it. It gets deprived of oxygen and then I wonder where the hope went. Sometimes it feels like I’m always against the odds – sigh.
Good things can still happen but when you are struggling to feel your heart beat happiness wavers no matter which way you look at it. No words can fix it. And time just hurts. Some good luck would be nice. I believe in sending my wishes out to the universe and letting it do what it needs to do, but what it ‘needs’ to do isn’t always what I want, and that can be hard.
I can still be a survivor against all odds – hell I already am. Tomorrow I will try to push the wall again. I’m determined to make it crumble in my bare hands. It will cease to exist. It will vanish into the oxygen it at one point caused me to suffocate. It will listen to my screaming. I will take my oxygen back. Against all odds.
Paramedic Nat 