I Hate today. Group ripped our hearts out. Someone’s aching soul spilled onto the floor. It hurt. It made me enraged with the disgust of life. It made me disbelieve that things could be good. Good people go through so much pain. Only to have the people that hurt us walk away unscathed. Evil. Darkness. Torturous pain. There is no fairness. I can’t see why this needs to be. Today I hate the lessons purged to teach. If pain had a colour today, I saw it. It was blacker than the vastest hole in the darkest midnight sky. If pain had a feeling today, I felt it. It seized my soul and massacred my heart, while my breath was hopeless cries. If pain had a feeling today, I felt it. Crushed and numb in the palm of strong and calloused hands. Left alone. Empty. I Hate today.
Paramedic Nat 
December 16, 2014 at 12:01 PM
I’m sorry to hear how bad today is for you Nat. You are such a fighter I believe you will get through this as well. Hopefully, the love sent to you today will help
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December 16, 2014 at 12:05 PM
Thank you xo
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December 16, 2014 at 4:35 PM
Thinking of you Nat! xo
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December 16, 2014 at 8:07 PM
Stare it down hun, scream into the void, tell it that it can’t have you. When faced with just how fucked life truly can be, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed, you’ve just looked at quantified despair and it’s not pretty, it’s scary and big and wants to destroy everything like the nothing from neverending story. Remember, just as crap and scary as the bad things are, there is immense beauty and wonderful things left in life, they can be ours but they don’t come as easy to us as the average person. Keep fighting hun xo
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December 16, 2014 at 9:07 PM
It is more than ok to hate “hurt”.
Wether it is your hurt or someone else’s.
I sympathize so much with you on this one! We have had a rough couple of days here, and again left with the question why do such horrific things happen to amazing loving people ?
Sadly …. There is no answer, at least never one that will help or make any sence, we must deal with the hurt and pain with love and hope.
You are very loved Natalie …. Keep pushing through, there is light at the end of this long tunnel
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December 16, 2014 at 10:10 PM
I agree with coral. Like anger, hate can be powerful and transformative. The good news? Tomorrow is coming and it is new and undiscovered.
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December 17, 2014 at 8:10 AM
It’s why I’ve always had an aversion to group therapy. Not only am I depressed, I’m also an empath, and it’s very difficult to take on everyone else’s feelings on top of my own. *Sighs* I hope today is better for you.
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